DISCLAIMER.
I have an acknowledgement, announcement or confession I need to make. It is of utter importance for the integrity of our relationship and for you to know exactly what I am and how you choose to relate to me.
I AM THE ASSHOLE.
The dirty, abrasive, tight and uncomfortable part.
The part you want to make wrong, disown and shame, that sticks with you whether you like it or not.
I am the asshole,
The rude, disruptive force of your perfectly designed delusion.
The reflection of your unexpressed thoughts and feelings.
I am the asshole,
The part that mirrors back to you, your vibration, fear, and misplaced accusations and projections.
The part you don’t trust, because dancing with me brings out your own ugliness and chaos.
I am the asshole,
The part that horrifies you, when you recognize that your loss of control is the source of your lack of trust and safety.
I am the asshole,
That eliminates the solid waste of your finely manicured presentation of self to the world.
The imperfect messiness that doesn’t apologize for being 100% human and alive.
I am the asshole,
That you blame for all your traumas and loss of agency.
Even though you have given up your response ability, because it is so much easier to make it about me.
I am the asshole,
The part that is so free, so wild, so alive, where orgasmic pleasure, freedom and deep darkness resides.
You want it, but are too cowardly to claim it for yourself so you attack me in an attempt to harvest my power.
I am the asshole,
So that must make you the King, the Sovereign, who has forgotten that YOU are the creator of every moment. The one that chooses to revert to the victim, the powerless, the loser!
I am the asshole,
Because you are full of shit.
Because you need somewhere to go.
Because there is no YOU without ME.
So don’t come around my parts, clinging to my gifts, grasping for a taste of my greatness and power, to attempt to get a piece of what I am, if you are not ready to get your hands dirty and own your own stink.
Don’t approach me if you are not willing to face the complete annihilation of your persona, your relationship to your absolute insignificance, only to discover the power at the core.
When you are ready to join your own asshole to the great mystery and nothingness, only then can I become YOUR piece of shit, that you can extricate, and use as fertilization for awareness and consciousness upgrade.
I am THE asshole,
but it has never truly been about me.
