For some men, the risk of being falsely accused (it definately happens) will start to outweigh the pleasure of sharing time with a woman. This is not a long shot. I have heard it in my trainings, amongst brothers and at times felt it while engaging w a new intimate. There is even a movement dedicated to it (Mgtow) and it is growing fast by the sounds of it.
I definitely move a lot slower and with more caution, often time to the disappointment of a woman. Personally, I have come to the realization that for the most part, it just isn’t worth it.
This is the current climate we are living: Where enough men have acted like brainless dicks to create the culture of fear in women, and where women have the power of destroying a man based on an accusation alone.
In today’s society, women have more power with an accusation than with actual legal recourse. Problem is that it skips the fact that an individual is innocent until proven guilty and feeds the collusional aspects of the wounded feminine in all of us.
Technically an accusation comes with a responsibility. The responsibility of proving that there was a criminal violation and that there are various degrees of criminality. This is not a special case for women alone, but the backbone of justice in our world leading free society. Not perfect by any stretch but definitely the best humanity has got.
Not today though. Nowadays, it seems women don’t need to take any responsibility. Just an accusation will suffice to sway moral repugnance and a sentence of social and professional destruction.
We definitely need to revamp the justice system to support women in coming out. I get how difficult it is to come out and prove a violation. Believe it or not, I have been on the receiving end of serious sexual assault at least 2 times, and it definitely isn’t easy to prove or to own. (First time I am ever voicing this).
Regardless, the trend towards bending towards the collective rage of women, at the cost of responsibility of an accusation is a very fine line which may just shift the unhealthy power of men’s unfettered sexuality, to the unhealthy power of women’s unfettered fear. Regardless they are both “unhealthy” and need to change.
We must all do our work in creating a new reality, one anchored in Love. Hippie I know, but also in alignment w the flow of universal energy. The “Rise of the Divine Feminine” everyone is talking about these days, is not only about the resurrection of Kali, but the Return of the Divine Mother and the energy of unconditional love for collective healing and expansion.
May we find balance.
May men remember that their primary duty as a man is to protect and serve women and children, not exploit them. And may women remember their love for men, beyond them being a “walking wallet” or escalator toward power and success. May we both honour each other.
And most importantly, may both men and women remember that boys are being raised as the problems and scourge of society for the sins of their fathers. This will NEVER heal the divide. It can only breed internalized anger and hence unhealthy emotional release, repeating the cycle, possibly with more heinous implications.
Together we will find a better way. Until then, men, hold space for the collective rage of women. Women express and release. And then, let’s get to creating a better world for our children. The sooner we heal, the sooner we get to create together. The divine union of man and woman.
We are the ones we have been waiting for.
We owe it to ourselves to drive the pendulum to a new middle ground.
Inspired by articles written by Megan McArdle from Bloomberg.com
Consider the consequences of #BelieveAllWomen
The Current Sex Panic Harks Back to the Era of Coddling Women